Through The Pain

I can't take it anymore
I've finally had enough
Is this the life I was meant to live?
Am I suppose to be alone?
Resented by the ones who say they love me?
Am I that repulsive?
Does no one care if I slip away
Into the shadowy pits of despair?
And all I can see now
Is the blackness that surrounds me
Isolated by my own stubbornness
In two minds over life
Sometime I cry
For no other reason
Then I can
I want to scream
As the darkness engulfs my very being
And it hurts
I can feel the pain rushing over me
It feels so real
And yet as I stare into the empty void
It seems so distant
Is this the pain of the future?
Is there anyway to stop it from coming true?
Sometimes I wonder
How am I suppose to know
What is real and what is fantasy
When all that I see is destruction?
How can life be grand
When all that surrounds me is disaster?
Depressing
Repressing memories from the past
That haunt me like they happened yesterday
The way you hurt me
I can never forget
Nor will I forgive
I'm angry
And yet I'm glad
For if you never hurt me
I wouldn't be who I am
And do you know what's interesting
Once you stop feeling pain
Then you can inflict it